Bill Clinton may have a Secret Santa this year.
October 9, 2016
My Grownup Christmas List
Dear Santa Trump,
If Hillary Clinton is elected, we may not be able to say Merry Christmas this year, or even have a Christmas if she tries to bully Putin. And I KNOW she won't do any of the things WE THE PEOPLE have told her we want done, even if she says she will. She'll just do what her donors want her to do.
So, I’m sending you my list early, and praying you get it before November 8th.
First, I want you to know that I don’t even care if you are Rosie O'donnell in drag. As long as you build that wall, I will vote for you. And you don’t even need Mexico to pay for it. I'll be happy to send money in each month until it is finished. Built it 100 feet tall if you’d like.
Second... well, let me just sing you the rest of my Grownup Christmas List.
Do you remember me
I was at your rally
Twas just last month, I felt like such a pup
Well now I'm back at home
And you have changed your tone
Don’t say pu**y no more, but lock her up!
Now I’ll feel really dissed
If you don’t bomb ISIS
Please try to fix this country that’s in need
No more black/blue lives torn apart
Syrian wars would never start
And leaders would be smart
And Bill would finally have a life
Please find him a good wife
H. Clinton won’t be missed
Lock her up or I’ll be really pissed.
P.S. Please say hi to your reindeer, Blitzen, and that Elf of yours, Wolf Blitzer.
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