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Why do most medical marijuana advocates always look like they've been using weed for a long time.

October 24, 2015

Smiling Faces Sometimes (They Lie)

A few weeks ago I received two similar looking brochures in the mail. One had a smiling family on the front and was an ad for a family dental practice. The other had three smiling stoners (I can use the “s” word, because I used to be one) on the front and was an ad to vote for legalizing marijuana in our state of Ohio.

One of the stoners was white, with blond spiked hair, beard stubble, and dilated eyes. The second was a young black woman. The third was an Oriental/Hispanic guy with a goatee. Couldn’t tell if he was Oriental or Hispanic. Maybe they choose this guy deliberately so they could kill two birds with one stone. (Pun intended.)

Apparently this select group was an attempt at diversity, to appeal to those who identify by skin-color. (Hum? Isn’t identification by skin color the very definition of racism?)

Both of the brochures were high quality, expensive brochures, indicating that someone is pouring a lot of money into hoping to fix teeth and to grow pot. And as altruistic as your dentist may be, I’m sure if he didn’t want to profit, he’d be fixing teeth in a 3rd world country for Dentists Without Borders. And I’m sure whoever is putting the money into this pot campaign is wanting to profit as well. Else, they’d just be slouched on their couch sharing weed with their three multi-cultural friends. “Hey man, throw me some more Cheetos.”

But the purported thrust of the brochure sounds more like a political speech: (Read it in the same tone as Phil Hartman’s SNL character, Unfrozen Cave Man Lawyer saying, “We must do everything in our power to reduce the capital gains tax.”) “Everyday Ohioans will be able to invest in and own their own marijuana business generating new jobs and taxes while breathing new life into Ohio’s economy.” Thank you. Thank you very much.

There ya go, Governor Kasich. You’ll have more tax money to fund drug programs. A real win-win situation as it generates money for government programs, to solve the very problems it creates. Praised be the government. All wise. All knowing.

Each stoner was holding a sign saying “I AM NOT A MONOPOLY.” Apparently an attempt to be capitalistic in an anti-capitalist sort of way. The underlying message to non-stoners was: “It’s going to be legalized someday anyway, so let’s do it in a way that empowers the people, so the rich don’t get control.”

I smoked a lot of weed in my youth, and trust me, it did not empower me. (Except for the couch and Cheetos thing.)

I really don’t care too much about what people do. I suppose I’m more libertarian in that way. I believe people can make their own choices, but I don’t want to pick up the tab when people make lousy choices. Freedom to wreck your life is not the freedom to wreck mine or my children’s. I’d rather put my money into my children’s dental braces.

I remember back to those hazy days, age 13 to 17, when I was a little stoner. And why did I quit?

Maybe it was the time when someone left a tape recorder on when I was playing guitar with my band. I frequently got stoned before playing, as I thought I played so much better when I smoked weed. When I heard the playback of the tape while straight, I realized that I really sucked when I was stoned.

Or maybe I quit because four of my friends that I smoked with sat behind a country schoolhouse we frequented on night, got stoned, fell asleep with the motor running, and all four died of carbon monoxide asphyxiation. Or maybe it was my friend who was so stoned on hash that he just sat there while his house burned down around him. I can go on if you want.

A few years back the push was made to legalize pot in Ohio, supposedly for Medical purposes. But when the public happen to noticed that those promoting it looked like they’d been using pot for years already, they saw through the cover. This time the promoters are coming back with a capitalistic approach. Stoners, Big Government, and Capitalists in their first Ménage à trois. How exciting. Can we watch?

I understand there are some who were not previous Marijuana users benefitting from the medical use of marijuana. But as a medicine, it should be treated as such and used to correct imbalances in the body’s chemistry. When someone uses it without an existing imbalance (i.e. recreational use) it will create an imbalance in that individual.

If the scientific and medical community has found real help in its use, then that’s a good thing. But I’m just as opposed to pot-smoking doctors prescribing it, as I am to gay federal judges overturning the vote of the majority of the people of California against gay marriage. It’s called zero objectivity.

If you want some objectivity, check out what legalizing pot has done for Colorado, then vote NO.

Signed, An X-Stoner.

P.S. I actually do play guitar better after a couple of beers. I have the recordings to prove it.


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